What is Biblical Forgiveness? Do I have to forgive everyone?

What really is Biblical Forgiveness? Does the Bible say we have to forgive everyone for everything? Yes. Unabashedly, the answer is yes.

What a weighty subject.

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.”
Luke 17:3b

This verse looks different than what I initially thought. I grew up with the (mis)understanding (to no one’s fault than my own) that forgiveness was to be offered once an apology had been sought and that I was required to give it to that person no matter if they were sorry or not.

Biblical forgiveness though, is ultimately a heart issue. It is a matter of saying to God, “I recognize who I am as a depraved individual, who I would be if You had not called me, what you have saved me from, and I promise to not harbor bitterness to someone who is ultimately no better than I. I seek to glorify YOU in all I do and say, and that requires letting go of earthly offenses.” Before you consider your own situation and wonder, “yes, but how can I forgive this person, they did __________ to me”, keep reading as we delve into the real meaning of this command.

Read verses 3-4 together now for more context.

“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”
Luke 17:3b-4

Forgiving someone has to occur in your heart first and foremost in order to be genuine. Click To Tweet

The first thing to remember is that Biblical forgiveness is ultimately between God and you. Forgiving someone has to occur in your heart first and foremost in order to be genuine. The ability to forgive for some offenses is truly a gift from God as He works in and through you. Sometimes, this takes TIME, so please don’t fall under the illusion that you are not a true Christian or your heart is not right if it takes you time to process the situation or if you cannot immediately forgive someone–we are wired with emotions for a reason, and He wants us to work through them and grow from every experience, seeking to see His sovereignty in all of life’s occurrences.

It’s the old Christian adage “there’s a reason for everything”. While hearing it may sound callous when you’re in the midst of emotional upheavals, it is so true. God really does work through every situation for our good; not earthly good with relationships/things/money, but for our spiritual good. He presents every situation, good or bad, for our spiritual good and there is a reason why He brings us into and through EVERY situation we encounter in life. To say otherwise is an affront to who He is in our lives and sets us up for creating a false idol of a god that we selfishly would prefer to serve so as to receive earthly blessings and not spiritual.

To really understand what the author is intending to convey, it is helpful to understand the meanings of the words in the original language. We can utilize our understanding of the words to formulate how we carry this verse out in life today. In Strong’s Concordance, the definition for “forgive” is as follows, in part:

aphiemi. From [the root hiemi], to send forth, in various applications (as follow): cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit suffer, yield up.
From [the root] apo, to send. To send forth or away, let go from oneself: …
(II) To let go from one’s power, possession, to let go free, let escape.
Strong’s Concordance

It is also important to remember that forgiveness does not necessarily need to occur directly between the offender and the receiver. There are situations where it is not wise to maintain, encourage, continue, and/or open up communication between the two parties. You may not have as much closure as you would directly communicating the freedom of forgiveness to the other party, but that is something you should continue to pray about that God would release any need you feel you have for it, should a face to face meeting not be safe or wise.

Tying in with the occasional and unfortunate necessity for separation between parties, we would be wise to note, and I can’t stress this enough, that Biblical reconciliation is NOT….

Read Part II here.

~Becca