Do Narcissists Change – 1 simple reminder for how to have hope
“Narcissists don’t change!” I don’t think I could tell you how many times I have heard or read this…. Seriously, though, do narcissists change?
The sentiment is understandable, a personality disorder is not one that we typically see someone just snap out of. IF a narcissist is willing to go to long-term counseling to address issues, it is usually an incredibly long, drawn out process.
Miraculous transformations…
Imagine if you will, you decide to attend a new church. You see God in an entirely new way thanks to your true understanding of who Jesus is and what He did for you. You’re out for a daily run and notice a crowd of people beating up on someone… an elder at your new church! A truly, Godly man.
Since then, you hear stories of similar events over the years, with one man’s name surfacing as the leader. He has a plan to attack your church network throughout multiple cities and arrest them. Then, a couple years later, you see him outside city hall, preaching the same messages your pastor preaches. Probably a trap, it couldn’t be possible he actually believes the same thing you do after all that he did! Skepticism and fear reign throughout many in your church body as to the validity of this man’s claims.
In time, he proves himself worthy through sheer determination, knowing full well his past and how it affected your church.
This is a modern day analogy of Paul (and in no way am I saying he was a narcissist). We witness his radical transformation of one who had set out to destroy people. He miraculously transformed into one of the greatest religious leaders of all time.
Understanding grace…
The more we understand the grace of God in our own lives, the more apt we are to pray the same blessing toward others. Ephesians 1:17-18 Share on XMy point is simply this: while we may have had to enforce boundaries on this earth for our own (or our family’s) protection against narcissists (or toxic individuals), our end goal should be that we continue to pray for their hearts. Even though it may seem like they are the least likely to confess and truly repent, our prayers for them should continue until we can pray no longer.
Do Narcissists change?
Our hope should not rest in a specific person changing. Our hope and focus ought to be placed on God. We need to accept that when pegging an automatic negative to the question, “do narcissists change?”, steals power and sovereignty from our Heavenly Father. If it is in His will, then they will change.
Do narcissists change? They all have the capability to once we understand God’s power.
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It’s encouraging to think that the same God who changed Paul can change anyone in our day.
Anyone can change with God’s help. Very good point!
It’s always a hopeful reminder to hear that God can change people! I also think of what God did with King Nebuchadnezzar, humbling him to eat grass like a cow. We don’t see that nowadays (hopefully!) but it worked for him. 🙂
Convicting words here. It’s definitely hard to pray for narcissistic people, especially when they have inflicted deep hurt on people you love. But there is freedom in what you said because we can’t change man’s heart, but God can.
Thanks for sharing.