Who would enable Narcissists, discover 1 astonishing reason
Surprising as it seems, Narcissists have a support team behind them encouraging their continuation of behaviors; the ones who enable their antics.
To a degree.
For one thing, there is a certain facade Narcissists showcase to those around them to draw them in to blind allegiance and loyalty. When true colors or behaviors start appearing, the ones who enable recognize they will likely lose something from that relationship which is the backdrop to them keeping quiet and in agreement; if not, they will be shunned through emotional abuse, gaslighting, or the like. The Narcissist will then find a new ‘friend’ to enable their behaviors and punish the one who turned.
The cycle of abuse…
As an illustration, we can review the cycle of abuse. Again, we see that this same cycle presents itself through:
- bullies
- gang leaders
- cult leaders
- abusive spouses
- abusive ‘friendships’
- pimps
- Narcissists
- and others.
A Narcissist is an incredibly people-smart person, weeding out others until they find those that will be fiercely loyal. They are highly capable of reading people to find out what exactly makes them tick. Their goal is to find those who are quick to forgive and forget without proof of repentance or true change. In addition, they will also typically seek out those who are insecure in some way that can be exploited for their own gain and to draw the exact type of person who will enable them.
Those who enable a Narcissist are afraid…
It is quite common for a Narcissist to offer something they know their future enabler cannot pass up. For some it is:
- a trophy wife status,
- purely sexual,
- a spouse,
- pride that they are with that person,
- intense friendship “love”,
- fear of being alone,
- the Narcissists’ approval,
- etc.
Unfortunately, this is the behind-the-scenes footage that most don’t see. They don’t see this intricately spun web of deceit behind the relationship portrayed to the world. An enabler, initially, is also a victim of the Narcissist.
Taking ownership of our own choices…
BUT WAIT, the Bible makes it clear that each person is to be judged by his or her actions and choices. For example, if your spouse is acting in a sinful manner, it is not your responsibility to take the fall for them just because you are married. However, it is your responsibility to gently advise correct, holy living and not keep your mask up that all is okay.
You see, an enabler will be so incredibly scared of losing their Narcissist (and their benefit from being in a relationship with the Narcissist), that they will provide back up and support either through silent submission or vocal/actionable acceptance. You are not loving someone by keeping quiet about their sin. If they call themselves a Christian, a Narcissist enabler is encouraging the Narcissist to think they can deceive God… that is no laughing matter. One will be held responsible for the choice to stay silent in the face of encouraging another to sin.
Is it Biblical to enable someone?
Galatians 6:7 states very plainly you cannot mock God…. He knows exactly what actions people are taking to destroy others and bring them down. He knows their hearts. Fine, deceive men as well as Judas deceived the other disciples. But God cannot be deceived. You are mocking Him, our Lord and Savior. That is a very heavy weight to bear if you encourage someone to live a lifestyle taunting the Ultimate Judge of our lives.
By all means, this life is not a game, there are heady consequences to our choices. Life with our Savior in Heaven ought to be our goal, and if you are a Christian then please look with Heaven-bound eyes to those around you who are living in sin and consider that you might be the person needed to lovingly and gently confront someone. Or protect yourself from them.
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This is insightful. That cycle is hard to break, but I am inspired every time I see someone who has done it. Thank you for sharing and encouraging us to examine our own lives.
This is very interesting. I have not read a lot on narcissist. However, as I read your explanation, I realized some narcissist that have been present in my life, and thank God that he showed me the way from them. Thank you so much for sharing!