Narcissists in the Church – You just don’t think they’ll infiltrate your church until you look at the life of Judas

If Judas, who studied under Jesus Christ himself, could betray Jesus to his face, then we are a bit foolish to think our churches today are miraculously cushioned from experiencing narcissists in the church.  The truth is, there are wolves in sheep’s clothing hiding under a persona of Christianese and good deeds that we ought to be wary about. While it is most definitely shocking to hear someone you respected is living a secret life much different than the one they portray to the world, the reality is that those people are out there and there are victims from their behavior choices.

If only…

When I stop to think about the duplicity Judas portrayed, it is astonishing! I think we tend to fall into a mindset trap that if only:

• that person could hear from Jesus directly,
• that person was raised in the church to have years of foundation, or
• Jesus was more real to them

THEN they would confess their sins and truly repent.  We see in the Bible that is just not the case, and Judas is our best example for witnessing narcissists in the church.

Hardness appears in Judas Iscariot, who, after being a chosen Apostle, and a preacher of the kingdom of heaven, turns out at last a thief and a traitor. So long as the world stands, this unhappy man will be a lasting proof of the depth of human corruption. That anyone could follow Christ as a disciple for three years, see all His miracles, hear all His teaching, receive at His hand repeated kindnesses, be counted an Apostle, and yet prove rotten at heart in the end.

J.C. Ryle {Expository Thoughts on the Gospels}

The disciples were duped…

The other thing to take note of is that none of the other disciples had any clue that Judas would betray Jesus.  He duped them all.  In Matthew 26 we see that Judas agrees to betray Jesus, then sits down at the Last Supper even deigning to say to Jesus “Surely not I, Lord” when all of the disciples were asking the same question worried that they might be the betrayer.

Who did he think he was kidding?

Judas witnessed the miracles, he knew who Jesus was on earth better than almost everyone who has ever lived and YET he portrays a façade of innocence; asking the same questions and speaking the same language as the disciples around him.  The disciples were fooled by a great actor, someone whose heart was not aligned with God. While this type of person is not limited to narcissists in the church, there is a definite pattern of behaviors that align with the DSM-5 (clinical) description of narcissists.

Be cautious with narcissists in the church…

We would be remiss to encourage the disciples to continue in the same form of relationship with Judas after he betrayed Jesus. So, too, ought we take steps to protect ourselves with those who are living as abusers while representing themselves as true believers.

We have misunderstood (or been taught) that unconditional love requires unconditional relationship. There is an important distinction. … No boundaries or conditions is not psychologically healthy nor is it spiritually sound. It enables someone to continue to believe that the ‘rules of life don’t apply to me, and if I do anything hurtful or sinful, I should not have to suffer the relational fallout’. That thinking is not biblical, healthy or true. … There are times we must make some tough choices. We must speak up, set boundaries and implement consequences.”

Leslie Vernick, LeslieVernick.com

Humbly, we ought to remember we are all sinners and if we cut off anyone who offends us or sins, we would end up in our own self-inflicted solitary confinement. Click To Tweet

Congruently, we see these boundaries laid out for us multiple times in the Bible but need to approach them cautiously.  Humbly, we ought to remember we are all sinners and if we cut off anyone who offends us or sins, we would end up in our own self-inflicted solitary confinement.  Just like Judas, there are those who are ‘always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth’, the narcissists in the church.

Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.

1 Corinthians 15:33-34

But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.  Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. … But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men.

2 Timothy 3:1-7, 9

Seek out the truth, no matter the cost…

Now, to turn the tables, while there is an ebb and flow of relationships in your life, if YOU are the one who has had someone step out of relationship with you, that should send a red flag to you to search out and seek Biblical truth to ensure that you are not the ‘people’ the Bible calls Christians to avoid for fear of corrupting them.  As such, all Christians should continuously be examining their lives and actions against the truths of the Bible.

Our aim…

Let’s aim to be true followers of Jesus and not think we can skate through this life and slide into Heaven because of some good deeds and appropriate language displayed. Click To Tweet

Let’s aim to be true followers of Jesus and not think we can skate through this life and slide into Heaven because of some good deeds and appropriate language displayed. With that in mind, let’s dig deep into our Bibles, carry our cross, challenge our sinful nature, and boldly live our lives to glorify Him in all we do.

You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and imposters will go from bad to worse deceiving and being deceived.

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing form whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

2 Timothy 3:10-17

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