1 Fine Line – You can Either Bite Your Tongue or Elevate Truth (Proverbs 17 – 23)
Have you been in a situation where you were surprised someone spoke up? They may have shocked you with their words. Or, on the other hand, have you been curious when someone did not rise to the occasion to, perhaps, defend their name? There is a fine line between the two. That fine line may be different, but know this, if God is calling you to speak up, you best hop to that side of the fine line.
The Bible makes it clear, though, that both of these nuggets are given as wisdom: speak sparingly or speak the truth. How do you know which one to use? How do you know how to discern what one you just witnessed?
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Discrediting…
An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.
Proverbs 17:4
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Proverbs 20:19
It can be tough(!) to discern between two sides of a story, especially if you were not a participant to the event in question. But hear this, there is a clear telltale sign to take note of: almost every instance when there is one who attacks the other person’s character, claims they aren’t creditable, or spreads gossip about them without addressing the facts should be your biggest red flag of who is acting in accord with the Bible. The Bible makes it very clear to address issues factually, not based off feelings so as to properly discern the truth.
Also no different, are those who spread that same message around instead of beginning with addressing the people involved. Go straight to the source, if possible.
How do you know which one you heard…
To listen up can sometimes be painful, hearing a friend insult you can be painful. But Proverbs guides us to seek those whose criticisms are constructive…. [Is the] criticism with the intent to criticize[?] When one seeks to help, criticism is offered in a way that seeks that person’s best interest, to grow them and help them learn.
Proverbs encourages us to listen to those people, seek them out, befriend them, welcome them into your life. They will speak truth in love in hopes of bettering you!
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Try to look for the intent behind the words. Is the person speaking one who is seeing things you may be blinded to? Or maybe they are just accusatory without trying to point you to Biblical standards?
How do you know which one to do…
The fine line is drawn here. Scenarios can be very situational for how to deal with them wisely. I saw a recent post on Facebook asking the question, “Is it better to be right, or better to be kind?”
A verse often quoted in answer to this is “let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14). Look a little deeper though to find the meaning in context.
When correction or instruction are offered you in light of your eternity, you best take note. From this perspective, it is the most loving and kind thing that could be done… it's what God prefers. Share on XBe watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14
This is a ‘love which centers in moral preference, typically referring to divine love (what God prefers)’ (paraphrased). This direction was in light of the call to be watchful, stand firm, act like men, and to be strong. Take it back a couple chapters in this letter to the church in Corinth, and you have Paul directing the church to expel members. From a certain perspective, that could be seen as ‘unkind’. When correction or instruction are offered you in light of your eternity, you best take note. From this perspective, it is the most loving and kind thing that could be done… it’s what God prefers.
Two options…
Proverbs clarifies that a wise man often times keeps silent. It also gives credence to his words when he does speak up.
Fine speech is not becoming to a fool; still less is false speech to a prince.
Proverbs 17:7
A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.
Proverbs 18:6-7
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
Proverbs 21:23
Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.
Proverbs 23:9
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
Proverbs 17:27-28
If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:13
He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.
Proverbs 22:11
Overall, biting the tongue is frequently related to a boundary issue. We are to use our words cautiously and for a point. We must be careful who we address with them; should it be a foolish person, withhold yourself. If a gossip who does not weigh out both sides to a story, withhold yourself.
Greatest example…
Jesus is our go-to here for a guide. Looking at his short life on earth, he was very stark and sharp with the choice words He used. A rebuke was frequently doled out to the Pharisees. Even His words packed a punch.
He called evil, evil, and good, good. Jesus did not withhold the truth (facts) for appeasement or approval (feelings). Share on XPlease read these all. Hear the stark reality that He called evil, evil, and good, good. Jesus did not withhold the truth (facts) for appeasement or approval (feelings).
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. “
Matthew 10:34-38
“You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12:34-37
Jesus said to them, “Watch and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees. …Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” Then they understood that He did not tell them to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.”
Matthew 16:6,11b-12
“Therefore I tell you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people producing its fruits. And the one who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces; and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him.” When the chief priests and the Pharisees heard his parables, they perceived that he was speaking about them.”
Matthew 21:43-45
“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.”
Matthew 23:13-15
Then He began to denounce the cities where most of His mighty works had been done, because they did not repent. “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for Tyre and Sidon than for you.
And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to Heaven? You will be brought down to Hades. For if the mighty works done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this day. But I tell you that it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom than for you.”
Matthew 11:20-24
He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? … So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God. You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’
Matthew 15:3-9
And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, “It is written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer,’ but you make it a den of robbers.”
Matthew 21:12-13
But Jesus, aware of their malice, said, “Why put me to the test, you hypocrites?”
Matthew 22:18
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”
Matthew 23:27-28
Worldly unkindness…
The world perceives unkindness in a different light. Similarly, they also view wisdom in a different light. Jesus made it very clear. We are to Stand. For. Truth. That is not a fine line, but a bold line that we dare not cross!
Consider the fine line of situations you encounter everyday and take heed at the advice from Proverbs before reacting!
A motto that should hold fast to every area in our lives… why not grab a daily reminder to boast of Our King!
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I really struggle personally with what the right thing to do is in some of these situations. Thank you for this.
Becca, thank you for sharing this great lesson. Wonderful insights and encouragement. Blessings.