Of course I think my children are really adorable, the world also tells me so. But I refuse to reduce them to just that. The world’s standard of beauty will not define how I raise my kids.
I refuse to teach them that beauty is the ultimate standard to attain to. That if you have beauty you are one step ahead of the rest of “them”. That if you have the right look, body, clothes, or type of makeup, that you will get further in life. I have seen the detrimental effects in adults who grew up with that idealization. It creates many footholds for sin to enter in with relation to jealousy, comparison, pride, lust, covetousness.
Instead, I will encourage them to use their voices, to expand their knowledge and their abilities. I will encourage them to not conform, but to be their own person. I will not try to box them into my own definitions or criticisms. I want them to fly one day and they won’t if I clip their wings with my words.
Should we compliment our children? Yes, but rarely on physical aspects. The focus ought to be on encouraging words to address heart issues: the kind thing they did that day, the thoughtful action they showed their sibling, how they asked to pray for someone hurting, how hard they tried at something, that they pulled out their Bible for devotions, that they had great attitudes even though they lost their game, that they were willing to learn, that they apologized, that they changed their behavior.
There are obviously too many to list, but enough to focus on that we don’t need to be so shallow as to only show them we think their worth is limited to external features.
If your kids have flown out of the nest already, this still applies to how you compliment them and any grandchildren you may have in your life. Let your legacy be that you care for their heart.
